Circle of Life

His twisted outlook on life from cradle to the grave. (Without DMX or Jet Li thankfully)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

my brother's keeper

this is something for the honeys. Dudes can definitely relate but they may hate and under appreciate the fact that I am opening the floodgates to possible future dates on how we correlate in ways that are intimate and hence plan to seal my fate. Give me a second to catch my breath. That one right there was a bit of a doozy.

Anyway, if you didn’t get what that meant (not sure I do myself) this post is about the relationship amongst boys and one of its strongest tests. We may walk around thumping our chests like we’re King Kong but underneath all the bravado and machismo, there is a soft center in there somewheres. Some of us just haven’t found it or pretend it doesn’t exist. Well, maybe I should just speak for self because it’ll be hard to find any man that is likely to agree with me without some coaxing.

That’s my man’s ‘n ‘em
Men share a mystic, abstract common bond. Male friends (emphasis on friends) are often closer than brothers. We share every experience and hardly keep secrets. We’ve got each other’s backs. We can predict, almost down to a science, what the other is thinking or how he would handle a particular situation because they are boys and they know each other inside out. Men cry too. Oh yes, we cry; and not just at funerals. Some at weddings, some at the movies (I didn’t cry for The Champ but I have for a whole lot less), some when they’re angry and some after getting their ass kicked! Some will cry together or at least one will cry in front of the other (Rotimi SHUT UP) and this is true. Hate all you wanna, the truth will set you free. I live in Liberty City all day baby – Chichi’s a crying mutha… SHUT YO MOUF! He is the only one that can tell you the truth, regardless, at all times. You may get upset, argue or even come to blows but at the end of the day you sort it out still because that is just what boys do.

blood in blood out, vatos locos holmes!

All hail the Kings
Going to Kings College didn’t help matters much either. As an all boys’ school, you have no choice but to bond. I was cool with everyone, pretty much but I had my nugs! We didn’t all hang together all the time but you knew who you needed, when you needed him. The school. The symbol. The mermaid. There was just something about that place that gave us all an air. Others see it but they choose to disregard it and try to disrespect it. But you know you wanted it. The KC boy exuded a certain confidence that made his swagger (word to Syndik8) different from everybody else’s. While the legend of KC may be exaggerated a bit (especially by us KCOBs), you know you really (secretly or openly) respected these kids and were sometimes downright in awe of them. This is in no way belittling other schools, oh hell naw but just highlighting the pride that comes with the white and blue. Like one Atlantic Hall OB put it once:

"You have to give it to KC Boys though. Nuff respect. Take 10 AHall boys and 10 KC boys on the night of a party. AHall boys decked out in the latest Ralph or Tommy shirts, matching Chinos, and color coded Timberland boots; in 5 rides, maybe a Benz or 2, a 406, one jeep or whatever, get to the party, stroll through the gate like their father owns Nigeria, garner all the attention from the honeys and envious guys too, then lamp in the corner and crack jokes and diss people all night. Then the KC boys. They rock T-Shirts, faded jeans and scuffed moccasins; squeeze into 2 504s, hustle to get into the party, and then proceed to mack all the hardest babes.”

You gotta love that! As always, I get carried away when I write. Working on it. This is not about KC boys but that reference was at first relevant then eventually became cocky. I apologize. Continuing on, REAL friends are in it for life. Others will come and go but trues (as Bone Thugs would say) see it through regardless. Good times and bad. Nothing can break them apart; money, distance, sports, work or woman. If any of these factors can split the pair, then they were never really friends.

However, there is one woman that can strain the relationship between two vatos, regardless of how close they might be. As a matter of fact, the closer they are the more danger of friction they face when this woman comes between them. And this woman is…


Tuesday, June 06, 2006

el stupido

I love life. You know how you’re young and you start interacting with other kids? Boys want to be boys and emulate TV action heroes? Girls want to be homemakers (and hairdressers) with their doll houses and tea parties? Remember that? This is our story. The story of all of us, told in my own words without conducting any research whatsoever, it was just created in my head! So please forgive my flawed offering as I present to you: Boys & Girls in

The Birds & The Bees!

The boys think the girls are “sucky” and the girls think the boys are just plain old mean! Cries of: “I hate boys!” and “Girls are just stupid!” fill the airwaves for the years to come. It is a cute relationship of utter, mutual hatred that adults find cute because of the innocence that really surrounds it.

Then, all of a sudden, that thief in the night creeps up on you when you least expect it. Damned puberty – the rogue! Her body begins to take shape, his screech starts to crack. She develops a protruding chest, he discovers hair on his face; and the rest is evolution. The days of “kid-dom” are revised. They are both bashful because of the way they now feel around each other. It feels funny, with a hint of danger, excitement and anticipation. They don’t understand what is going on but more often than not, they like it!

However, not much changes really because the guys still want to emulate the TV action hero – he always gets the girl! And the girl still wants her tea party for two but the reserved seat is no longer for Barbie, rather a real life sized Ken. They share in common, the anticipation of that first kiss, after which, he begins thinking about the second kiss while she’s thinking about their last child’s name (cheap shot but hey!)

During this period of sexual discovery, investigation and maturation; they usually end up right back at square one. We will get to that momentarily. Upon discovering the joys of making out and all unanimously agreeing that whatever happens in “Truth or Dare” doesn’t count (say AMEN), what boys tend to grasp in all this is that: “I have this strange sensation in my pants when I'm around all girls and not just the one. Especially the bigger ones... with big ones!”; while girls think that "T or D" kiss with the ultimate hottie is the start of something wonderful.

This leads to her discovering love and him finally finding a way to appreciate Math: “So if I kiss 2 girls everyday for a whole month, that would be…” They start going steady and she clings on to her man, who tries to cling on to ever skirt in sight. She eventually finds out when he’s kissing her “best friend” behind the classrooms (next time you won’t talk about him so damn much) and we go back to square one: “I hate boys!” "I kissed every girl in her gang! Girls are just stupid!”

Kissing and the odd fumble here and there eventually lose their appeal. That’s when the pressure to advance to “Simultaneously Embracing Xtacy” creeps into the psyche. The whole back and forth struggle begins: “You don’t love me, you just want my body.” “How can you say that? Of course I love you.” “If you love me then you’ll wait.” “If you love me, let me love you completely. My brother says…” (His brother always says, don’t he?) Well, when she does give in, he runs straight to his friends to spill the beans on his 45 second conquest, of course after 45 days of persuasion – let’s call it what it is: BEGGING! The gist spreads around and we run right back to the square: “He said he loved me but he just used me. I hate boys!” “I told her I loved her and she believed me. Girls are just stupid!”

This goes on through life and makes the “can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em” sentiment ring true. It leads to the rise of the independent woman and the realization of the power described on Track 13 of Jay-Z and R. Kelly’s The Best of Both Worlds CD. The woman has been marginalized (and continually called stupid mind you) so it is only right she exercise said “power” to the extreme and the men who still don’t get it are quick to say: “Girls are just stupid!”

So she watches these "smarties" climb the corporate ladder, amassing vast assets and wealth along the way over the years and then she decides to show them just how stupid she really is:

She agrees to be his stupid girlfriend that makes falls stupidly in love with him. She stupidly accepts his wedding proposal and models her stupidly expensive diamond ring every chance she gets. She wears her stupidly expensive wedding gown proudly and stupidly says “I do!” to the superior being. Then after being stupid enough to stick around for ten years and three kids, she very stupidly takes half of what he owns, along with his entire sanity, hence causing a shift in balance within the circle. She says: “I love boys!” and he gasps: “Girls are just plain old mean!” “Really? I could have sworn they were stupid?”


And so, the circle of life continues to rotate and we are back to square one. Men are now their TV heroes; washed up, unshaven loners looking for a shot at redemption now that life holds no meaning. And the women? It’s still tea parties in mansions and makeovers from renowned stylists everyday, all day; possibly with a young boy toy for her entertainment, who can’t help but believe that his easy walk-in-the-park lifestyle with this older woman boils down to one thing: “Girls are just stupid!”

The fool!